Dura High: Fight!
by Meian Rose
Summary: A series of one-shots for our favorite characters! Witness each of our beloved saunter out into the whimsical world of high school. Problems of the decade being: 1. Try not to kill this guy too illegally. 2. Finals. [Features alternates. Some characters from the light novel in use.] Written strictly for fun. Rated not quite PG but I tried.
1. Trust Not, Eat Well

_**Shizuo's Conflict:**__ My brother has been hanging around that Roppi guy too much, and he's shady. I don't like it. _

_ For one, he looks too damn much like the flea for anyone's comfort. Secondly, that bastard gives him dirty looks in class and it's taking every ounce of my willpower not to pounce and kill the sorry bastard. Who the hell looks at anyone like that, anyways? _

_ Worst of all whenever I confront Kasuka about it, he brushes it off and says that he's just associating. _

_Associating with that menace? Right. Tch._

* * *

"Vorona, I'm giving you a mission." Shizuo straightened his glasses, habitually pushing them up on the base of his forehead, eyeing Vorona carefully.

"I accept your mission, senpai." she stated in a tone that implied she was born ready. Confident. Which was mandatory in a case like this. She clutched her books tightly, clenching her fists. "I will do anything that you have assigned for me, no matter the challenge!"

He figured she'd say something like that. She was strange. That aside, "My little brother, Kasuka. He's been hanging around that Roppi guy- the one that looks like that flea- and I need you to figure out what's going on. What kind of _associating_ my brother is doing and why, specifically, it's with him. And if you can, I'd like you to get Kasuka out of that situation. I'd do it myself, but.."

"Understood." She dropped her books, slamming her fist into her palm. The crowded school halls parted in her wake, "Operation: Stalk Senpai's sibling and abide by senpai's reluctance to confront him!"

He stiffened, "Lower your voice. Also, I'm not avoiding confrontation."

In that event, he probably wouldn't have hired her. However, Vorona knew the truth and she was eager as it was, to carry out this mission. The bell tolled, and she hastily stuffed her books into her bags, before heading off to class, in the opposite direction of her senpai whom had made his slow descent down the hall already.

Shizuo stood by the bordering door of the cafeteria, and patiently waited. There, a row or two over, sat the nuisance. No, it wasn't the flea this time. The flea hadn't shown up to school, thankfully, or carrying out this.. mission, would have been impossible. Not for Vorona, of course, but he personally would have been too busy trying to launch a table at the bastard to properly hire her.

Speaking of which, Vorona apparently didn't come cheap. Though he'd been given the 'senpai-discount', he still owed her his lunch for the next two weeks, in compensation for the 5000 yen he would have spent. That aside, her services were well over worth it. He casually slipped further behind the door, wary of being noticed.

A text message appeared. Regarding it quietly, he noted Vorona's very formal update: "Target is in position."

He hoped and yet feared she was talking about Kasuka. He stole a glance through the door's small window, allowing very shaded, unclear vision through it's grated lining. However difficult, he could definitely make out the silhouette of his brother, approaching the table with a lunch tray.

In response, the infamous misanthrope could only grumble and nod in vague acknowledgement. Kasuka took a seat across from him, immediately leaning on his elbow.

That was far too odd for Kasuka. Being sociable like that, in a way that made him seem so.. familiar. He'd never known Kasuka to have too many friends outside of himself, but that could have just been a result of his own oblivious nature. However, surely he'd paid enough attention to his brother to know-

"Senpai. The target is not speaking." the new message read, and he couldn't help but realize that he didn't see Vorona at all. She was good at her job, he supposed.

Pulling his glasses off for a moment, allowing him to clear up a bit of the excess-shading, he squinted slightly. It was difficult to pin-point just one person in particular through the haze of students, but not impossible. At least, not when you knew what to look for. Eventually a stroke of blonde hair became evident in the sea of students, and he realized Vorona had slipped in behind a group of chattering girls. Just to blend in, he supposed.

The misanthrope didn't touch his plate, but Kasuka did. Taking small bites here and there, listening as Roppi seemed to open his mouth and spout out a word or two that never really provoked reactions. On occasion he'd frown- Roppi, that is, or smirk, grin, etc. but after a while it seemed he gave up on whatever he was trying to accomplish and ultimately kept quiet.

The table was empty aside from them. Roppi was known to be a bit of a loner, after all. One more reason why Shizuo just couldn't fathom Kasuka's sudden desire to associate with a guy like that. Even more so, what the flea might have to do with it. Because someone that looked just like that guy wasn't trustworthy.

After a while, he got tired of watching. He hated not knowing what his brother was up to. At least, in a situation that may or may not put him in eminent danger. Affiliation with that flea, or anyone associated with the flea, could only lead to trouble and there was no way in hell he was allowing Kasuka to get dragged down to the underbelly of whatever the flea was planning.

He gripped the doorknob. Knowing that, there was no way in hell he'd just stand idly by and let-

Through the grated window, it seemed that Vorona had just intervened. Loudly enough to capture the attention of every bystander within the perimeter for at least a minute or two, before the crowd lost interest and moved along, as it always seemed to. She addressed Roppi with a pointed finger, crossing her arms and leaning on one side of her body. Roppi, in turn, stared at his tray as a hand gripped the underside of the table. It seemed her company was bothering him, which was fine.

Vorona stole a glance at the door, where she met Shizuo's eyes for a brief moment. He stared with a certain intensity, as if hoping to convey a certain message without the use of his phone, or verbal communication. 'Don't, don't, don't, for the love of God, don't point me out'.

She tightened her fists and leaned over the table again, slamming both hands flat on the surface. Both trays rattled a bit at the impact, but it seemed Kasuka didn't do much aside from stare at his tray and lean on his arm, stirring whatever it was that had been thrown on his plate. Roppi did.. more or less the same thing, however, offering what seemed to be a snide retort (based on Vorona's stern facial expressions) in return to whatever accusation she may be throwing at him.

He hadn't realized he'd practically taken up the entire door space until he heard a quiet, "Um.."

Turning around, he spotted the face of... Roppi? He glanced back at the table. What the hell?

"I kinda need to get through." The significantly shorter raven narrowed his eyes, eyeing the strong-man's chest. For, that was the only part of him that was relatively eye-level, it seemed.

Now he understood.

* * *

**teen!Roppi:** _A program, much like the Hachimenroppi AI unit, designed with the same mal-intent and misanthropic tendencies. However, a younger alternate estimated to be in his sixteenth year (in accordance to design, not chronology) who shares and yet contrasts his elder/original program. _

_Alias': Teen; Brat; Rop; Roppi. Full name: Hachimenroppi Orihara. _

**_teen!Roppi's Conflict:_**_ Shizuo is in the way. _

* * *

He stiffened, for a moment, sure he'd been caught. Then, upon recognizing the infamous (and substantially younger) copy of the face ahead, he nodded in acknowledgement. As much as he would have liked to beat the brat to a pulp for that rude, snarky-ass behavior, he stepped aside.

The teen mumbled a quiet, "Thanks." as he passed by, but somehow it didn't seem too genuine. He continued watching as the door shut behind him, and it seemed Vorona had sat down next to Kasuka, now.

He sent her a mildly outraged text, "Your mission was to intercept! Not to have lunch with them!"

A message was sent back, "Senpai, the teen noticed you. Also, I have carried out my mission to my fullest ability but neither will tell me anything about what they have been discussing in regards to their private matters. Your brother has a doll face, by the way, and looks slightly like a female. I thought you had the right to know this."

He shut his phone off and stormed down the hall, right on time. The bell rang, tolling his evident defeat.

* * *

Vorona stood by Shizuo that afternoon, cradling her arm. Dismissal had rung true, freeing the students from their mandatory eight-hours of confinement. Most of the students had headed out by now, leaving Vorona and Shizuo alone in the final class- the only one they had together. Home Room.

"Senpai.." she sounded timidly at first, but her tone firmed immediately. "I have failed you! I am sorry. I will take extra care to perform my task, from now on! And you owe me one less lunch in payment."

He placed his hand on her head, ruffling her hair lightly. He wasn't particularly happy with the results, given he'd have to spend that afternoon at home explaining to Kasuka specifically _why _Vorona had made such a brash approach, given despite his reserved nature, he was rather clever and probably pieced together the situation by now. He could only hope that Kasuka wasn't so clever that he'd be able to infer as to Shizuo's direct motives, i.e., his curiosity.

"You did your best. Go home and have some cake, Vorona."

Her eyes seemed determine now. "I assure you, if any harm comes to your brother, I will take responsibility. And I will cut Roppi up, like cake."

That wasn't quite what he'd like to associate his sweets with but sure, that worked. "Go on." he chuckled, opening the door for her, as she stomped out with her book bag slung over her shoulder.

* * *

As expected of his little brother, he'd figured _everything _out. That next morning, he shared first-period Biology with him. He sat right next to him, actually. Kasuka passed a note, "You don't have to worry about my associations, Shizuo. I wouldn't do anything that you would disapprove of." He meant that in relation to Izaya, but figured it was best to leave that out.

Shizuo scribbled out a reply, which was almost illegible in contrast to Kasuka's neat-print. "I know that. It's not that I'm worried or anything, it's just that people with the flea shouldn't be trusted. No good can come out of it."

Kasuka slipped a reply, "Thank you for worrying. You are welcomed to sit with us at any time, Brother."

He sighed to himself and was going to retort, insisting that it wasn't worry- (though, this would be a statement teetering very much on the fragile truth)- when another note came his way.

"Do you like me? Check yes or no:-"

Shinra swiped the message out of his hand faster than he'd received it. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry sorry sorry,.."

He scurried off with it, and couldn't help but wonder what he hoped to accomplish by sending those childish things to Celty, whom quite obviously would have none of it. And as expected, that class concluded with a solid punch in Shinra's stomach, surprisingly not by Shizuo.

* * *

**Brunch: **A combination between Breakfast and Lunch. Snacks are offered. Duration: Half the time of lunch.

* * *

Brunch came by after a while, and he kept an eye out for Kasuka. Vorona approached instead, and cocked her head at what appeared to be her senpai, glancing from person to person throughout his stilled walk in the hall, students parting around them.

"Is something troubling you, Senpai?"

He shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts. Curiosity was really killing him. Sure, he didn't spend much time with Kasuka at brunch, but that was only because he figured he didn't want to suffocate his sibling in and outside of school. Even a guy like Kasuka needed space, probably. But he'd never really given a thought to where he might go.

"No." He pushed his glasses up on his forehead, "I'm looking for Kasuka, that's all. Hey.. wouldn't mind finding him for me, would 'ya?"

"Understood." She slammed her fist into her palm, "Immobilize and retrieve the target. I will-"

"No." He tapped her forehead with utmost care, vaguely recalling the result of flicking one of the lower class-men, a semester prior. Knocked the poor guy right out cold. "Just.. let me know when you find him, alright? I'll get there when you do."

Vorona nodded, seeming to relax somewhat, but he couldn't help but notice the hint of disappointment that crossed her visage. Well, it's not like it was his fault that Vorona had megalomaniac tendencies- That aside, he figured now was probably a good time to head to put the books he didn't need in his locker, and retrieve his Math book. That class really made his head hurt.. Ah, well. Couldn't be helped.

Approaching the locker, he noticed Tom. He smiled slightly. He hadn't thought that Tom had showed up today. It was nice seeing someone at this school who was sane. "Yo, Tom."

Tom turned around, and waved with an equally nonchalant smile, "Shizuo. Nice to see 'ya, how are classes treating 'ya? Bored yet?"

"Not at all." he chuckled slightly, stuffing his books into his cluttered locker. On it, a scrawled word of profanity courtesy of Izaya. "Wouldn't have happened to see Kasuka around, would 'ya?"

"Hn.. Kasuka?" He shut his locker and slipped his hands into his slacks, "Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure he hung back after class. He and a few other students. The ones that look alike, y'know? Sorry, I could be wrong."

He briefly placed a hand on Tom's shoulder, but was practically already halfway down the hall with the conclusion of his statement. "Thanks, Tom. That helps a lot. I'll see you around."

He left Tom, whom now bore a somewhat dumbfounded look. Vorona approached with purpose, "Have you seen Senpai's younger sibling? I have been asked to neutralize him and in order to do so, I would greatly appreciate precise coordinates-"

Tom casually guided Vorona in the opposite direction, "Let me explain why that's a bad idea."

* * *

Shizuo found himself hanging by the door a bit longer than he would have liked to. If he were correct, those three shared a history class together. That and a few other alternates, who he never bothered to meet. (As aforementioned, it wasn't often that Shizuo thought of associating with anyone who resembled the flea).

Chatter was definitely taking place inside, and it sounded heated. However, it did not sound like Kasuka. That was a given. He wouldn't hold Kasuka to be the type to raise his voice at someone. Then again, lately he'd begun to question how well he really knew Kasuka- Regardless, he was going to get to the bottom of this.

After a failed attempt at trying to make out the words muffled by the door, he cracked it slightly, and as quietly as physics would allow.

"..Damned old man-!" erupted from the room, quite loudly. Seemed the door really was muffling a healthy part of the.. conversation, if it could be considered that.

He burst in, knowing a statement like that could only mean one thing-

The teen was on the floor. Roppi had pinned him down and was currently attacking him with his fists, as the teen desperately retorted with a firm choke-hold. Kasuka sat on one of the desks, idly kicking his legs back and forth. He looked up as Shizuo walked in and offered a wave.

Shizuo glanced between the fight and his brother, briefly wondering which one of the two were actually the odd ones out. "Kasuka." He slipped his hands into his pockets.

After a few more seconds of silence, aside from the fighting and struggling going on in the background, Kasuka offered a quiet, "..Yeah?"

In return, Shizuo offered a faint smile. "How about we go grab a bite before class. Sound good?"

Kasuka nodded, hopping off the desk. He casually slipped past the mess and followed Shizuo out the door, who shut it behind him.

Brunch turned out to be pretty nice.

* * *

**Note: Vorona's speech patterns = Not on point 'til about Ch. 5+ and so on. **


	2. Speak Loud, Attain Peace

**Vorona's Conflict: **_Everyone knew Ruri Hijiribe to be a quiet girl who often stuck around a certain group of men, which was worrisome. And though she never displayed any otherwise negative external affects that might exemplify any poor behavior, it seems she has grown more distant than usual lately. I see her in the library more often now, simply sitting in the back corner on her own. _

_I do not know Ruri very well, but I have known her to be a companion to Kasuka, Senpai's younger brother, at one point or another. Also, she graced me with a pen one day in Chemistry, when I did not have one. For that, I owe her my company and assistance should it prove necessary. _

* * *

Lunch approached that evening and simply put, the library was not empty as it usually was. This proved to be a very inefficient and somewhat noisy place to study, read, or dwell in ones own thoughts as a student often sought to do, should they seek refuge here.

Vorona, book in hand, sat in the back corner on one of the provided bean bags. Sitting rather stiffly in a chair, by a table up ahead, sat Ruri Hijiribe. This wasn't an extraordinary occurrence; lately Ruri has been gracing her presence in the library more and more often. However, seldom did they ever exchange words.

Today, she was not only. Surrounding her happened to be a rather loud and obnoxious group of boys and girls alike, each throwing teasing and taunting remarks at her. Most of which made no sense at all, and Vorona couldn't fathom why people like these existed. If Senpai were here, she'd get to witness his strength again. He would knock them all into their college years, probably.

However, he was not. And the next line of her story faded away with a _loud_ spurt of laughter. She shut her book, "You are being distracting and I will have to ask you to leave."

Silence sat in the air for only a moment. Ruri glanced back at her. Their laughter returned ten-fold.

"I asked for silence!" she declared, chucking her monstrosity of a book towards the face of whomever was standing in her path. That person hit the ground upon sudden impact, obviously not expecting such a throw. She was a bit disappointed, to have had to use a book for such an incident.

Kneeling down by the possibly dead-possibly unconscious body, she picked the book up and clutched it protectively to her chest. "I asked you to leave and you did not. What happened then was trial and error on your behalf."

Sufficiently implanting a chill in the suddenly still air, the rest of the _problems_ fled the scene, one staying behind in order to desperately drag his out-cold companion along.

She regarded Ruri with a slight frown, "Forgive me for imposing, but I do not understand why you allow them to torment you like that. Patience is a virtue to a certain degree."

Ruri seemed to have caught herself staring, "Ah..Well, I.."

"Hm?" Vorona pressed, placing her hands on her hips.

"..Ah,..It's just.." she frowned, "..I want to hurt them."

"I wanted to hurt them as well. So I did."

The quiet one shook her head, "..I want to hurt them differently..And I want them to suffer."

The emphasis she unknowingly put on the word _suffer_ brought that same stillness back to the air. Vorona allowed it to hang their for a moment, processing what she had just said. And, what she could have meant by that.

She placed a hand on Ruri's shoulder, "I would have taught that rude boy a lesson that would have forced the next three generations of his family into extensive therapy, should I not be aware of the fact that Senpai would disapprove."

"Eh.. Senpai..?" she looked up, her frown fading away. Though she wasn't exactly smiling, either. It seemed comforting to know that someone else existed who shared the same tendencies.

"That aside, what are you doing here?" She pulled a chair up and sat down, crossing her legs and her arms as she made herself comfortable. "It is unlike you to be here. You are usually with.."

"Don't talk about them." she warned with narrowed eyes that didn't seem threatening at all, so much as.. sad.

"..Were they rude, too?"

Ruri nodded. "..I.. no longer wish to associate myself with them. If that's alright.."

"You speak so quietly." Vorona noted, "In any case, I cannot allow Ruri to live in the shadows. I demand to introduce you to Senpai and his acquaintances at once."

The poor girl seemed hesitant, and stared for a moment with that same melancholic look. Eventually, she nodded.

As she stood and awaited Ruri's compliance, she stated with purpose, "I have come to cherish the pen you have given me. It is very helpful and I cannot thank you enough for your assistance."

Ruri nodded, briefly wondering if she'd ever really given Vorona a pen.

* * *

"Senpai! This is Ruri Hijiribe and I would like to acquaint you two."

Shizuo grunted in response, fumbling with a pack of cigarettes.

"Senpai, you will not get those out of the box by shaking them."

"It's not that.." he sighed, "It.. doesn't feel like cigarettes are in here. Feels too..light."

She hummed in acknowledgement, taking the box in order to shake it and formulate her own analysis. "It does feel like.. Where did you get these? Perhaps you should take them back to the store."

"Got that pack from Shinra.. sort of like a peace treaty, I guess." He took the pack back and shook it up again. Ruri watched the two exchange the box of cigarettes, but couldn't imagine the infatuation. She'd never been one for smoking nor shaking small boxes.

In a manner similar to what one might refer to as _a-bat-out-of-hell, _Shinra Kishitani sprung up on the scene with an outstretched hand. He was on one knee immediately, "Shizuo! No time to explain but I need that box back immediately!"

"Eh?" He frowned, "No way. I'm on my last smoke. I'll take whatever's in there." He reached for the seal, lightly tearing it open.

Shinra let out a scream and snatched the box, which had unfortunately, caught itself on Shizuo's finger. As a result, the box burst open and out sprung what appeared to be a very.. peculiar amount of thin, square wrappers.

"..." Shizuo exchanged a glance between Shinra and the torn box, "You gave me a pack of-"

"Shizuo, I swear I can explain-"

Without a further moment's notice, Shinra was put through a wall and Vorona and Ruri were left to attend to their own business. Vorona frowned, clearly un-amused and yet exhilarated with Shizuo's bold behavior, "That is my Senpai and as you can see, he has very little tolerance for nonsensical people, notions, behaviors, actions, and thoughts. Also do not pop gum in his ear. He does not like that, but he does have a taste in sweets so I recommend-"

"Ah.." Ruri hated to interrupt but, Shinra was practically a crater in the wall now. "Will he really be alright..?"

Vorona shrugged, "Perhaps. I suppose Senpai is either tending to him now or hiding the body. Either or, I trust his judgement."

Was it possible to trust someone who was capable of putting a man through a wall in an instant like that? Ruri didn't seem convinced, but nonetheless. Her gaze found her feet, and there it lay, un-moving.

A loud noise resounded from what seemed to be the floor up above. She looked up, and thought for a moment before reaching some sort of decision. "There. We will go there." She pointed upwards, before grabbing Ruri by the wrist and tugging her along.

* * *

They reached the second floor of the building, where Vorona stood patiently until another thud erupted from one of the classrooms, followed by muffled voices. She swung the door open, determined to get a look at whatever it was that was going on.

What she found,.. was disappointing.

"G-Get off!"

"Brat. Burn my shit again and you'll lose your eyes!"

It was just another fighting match between dumb and dumber, so it seemed. Vorona frowned when she caught sight of Kasuka, sitting on a desk as he watched the fight unfold with no expression. Surely Senpai wouldn't approve of his little brother being exposed to such heinous acts of violence.

She approached the two, grabbed each by the collar, and slammed their heads together until they were both cursing and groaning in pain. She dropped them collectively, brushing her hands off of whatever disease she could have contracted, whether it be Cooties or Stupidity.

She regarded Kasuka, "It is nice to see you. I trust that they were not giving you too much trouble."

He shook his head, though his attention seemed to be on Ruri for the moment. As if he almost hadn't expected to see her here. Which..was fair. He offered a polite wave, but his eyes eventually drifted elsewhere.

Ruri waved back, and quickly folded her hands in her lap.

Vorona came to the conclusion that Ruri was an introvert and as such, it was normal to retract herself from social situations. However, in order to provide a strong pillar of support, there would have to be a certain barrier of trust erected there. Because whether it be the student body or the student body president, young or poor, rich or poor, dumb or dumber, everyone needed a friend.

The bell rang and Vorona nodded at Ruri, offering a polite smile as they headed their separate ways.

* * *

An assembly was called that evening. The principal was intent on making a few announcements, so it seemed.

"First on today's agenda: Shizuo Heiwajima," he tugged nervously at his tie, "We understand the full extent of your aggression and the reasons for it. However, we cannot condone the disestablishment of yet another wall. This is a friend reminder: Treat school property as though it were sacred. This is the seventh time, this semester alone, that we've been forced to rebuild it."

A couple of students chuckled, and Shizuo only grumbled quietly as he sank further into his seat.

"Secondly, I'd like to address the issue of moral among our students. I'd like to humbly request that Izaya Orihara quit organizing gambling rings, especially that which involves the teachers. On another note, Izaya Orihara, please quit paying the food couriers to deliver pizza instead of our designated orders. Also, Izaya Orihara, please stop hacking into the grade system and changing Shizuo Heiwajima's GPA to NCIC."

"..NCIC?" Ruri looked up at Vorona.

Vorona frowned slightly, "No Chance In College."

"Also, Izaya Orihara-"

The vice principal coughed as a gentle reminder that the last time they addressed the entirety of Izaya Orihara's local blunders, the student body nearly remained five minutes after the bell rang due to the excessive amount of time required in order to do so. The principal coughed in acknowledgement, "On another note. Hachimenroppi Orihara, all of you- I would appreciate it if you would keep your fighting to a minimum."

The two in question were currently sitting in the back with a few unnecessary chairs in between them and in between the humans around them.

"Shinra Kishitani, we understand that due to the lackluster of our budget this year, our anatomy class has been dismantled, but please understand that we cannot condone the illegal use of scalps and or manual dissection in any of our classrooms. Regardless of whether or not it is supervised by a teacher. Submit your club proposal and acquire several signatures; then perhaps we will take your concerns under consideration."

Shinra grumbled, crossed his arms, and leaned on Celty whom nearly knocked him out of his chair.

The poor, balding man, took a deep breath before he removed his finger which withheld the length of the list. With nothing supporting it, the list turned out to be.. more of a scroll, with a feet or two or six of important matters weighing down to his feet. "On to our next agenda."

Izaya Orihara took it upon himself to swipe a nearby chair, stand atop of it (and then on top of a student inferred to be Shizuo Heiwajima) when he figured he wasn't tall enough. Finally towering above everyone and precariously balancing atop Shizuo's shoulders for only an instant, as well as risking instant death, he cupped his hands to his mouth and screamed, "Mosh pit!"

Accordingly, he jumped off of Shizuo who aimed to hit him and punched (severely damaging) the ground instead. Izaya, meanwhile, punched an unsuspecting student in the eye whom toppled over and landed into someone else, who aimed to punch that same student in his other eye. However, missed, and punched someone else entirely who turned around and punched the first person he found, who happened to be Shizuo. Whom felt nothing.

That student was tossed across the auditorium, which had basically whipped itself into a frenzy by now.

Vorona had already kicked her chair over in her eagerness, "Are you ready, Ruri?"

"Ah..?" Ruri looked questioningly at her.. companion..? "I,.."

"I do not mind if you decide to hurt people who rightfully deserve it. Also I will not allow these students to assault each other so mindlessly! We need to teach them a lesson. Understand? There are times to reserve your voice and then there is the here and now."

As much as Ruri would've liked to attest to that logic, the allure of this mess just seemed far too appealing. Actually hurting someone without being reprimanded for it? That was the life. So, though a bit timidly at first, she rose from her chair. And just in time, it seemed, as two students who'd been grappling for one another's throats (upon second glance, it appeared to be the Hachimens, at it again) crashed into it almost immediately.

Mimicking Vorona's confidence, she stood with her back to Vorona's, clenching her fist tightly. Then upon laying her sights on the first student in her wake- which happened to be one of the goons who'd so rudely verbally attacked her earlier on- she threw her first punch, which knocked that student out cold.

Needless to say, that afternoon ended in one way:

* * *

"Mass detention." Shinra groaned, "Celty's so lucky. She was absent today..! I won't survive without her. I just can't."

"Shut the hell up." Shizuo demanded, nursing his bloody knuckles. Ruri and Vorona were doing just about the same thing. Meanwhile the Hachimens sat in the back, bruised to hell with similar marks lining their throats, in the shape of fingerprints, no less.

Kasuka sat in the far corner, despite his inactivity throughout the whole ordeal. On the other side, huddled the trembling mass of four or five students who utterly refused to make eye-contact with the pair of Vorona or Ruri, who sat close to Shizuo.

"On the bright side.." Izaya relented, sitting atop the teacher's vacant desk. "I've given you something productive to do with your time. What better than to sit here and reflect with your favorite teacher's pet? Come on now, it can't be that bad, right? After all, I'm here. And you're all so interesting. This is just one big-!"

Dismissal approached and nobody could blame Simon, renowned for his efforts to ironically restore even a bit of normalcy to this living-hell of a high-school, for allowing Izaya to leave that afternoon with a black eye.

"Ah.. Is anyone going to check if he's conscious?" Ruri asked quietly, raising slightly as if trying to peer over the desk, which his body had fallen over.

Vorona leaned on her arms and shook her head. "It is peaceful this way."


	3. Fight Not, Rest Well

"Hey, Mikado!" Kida wrapped one arm around his friend, as the other kept Anri in close range.

"Oh, hey.. Kida.." Mikado sheepishly tried to shrug his arm off, clearly uncomfortable with the unexpected contact. He relaxed eventually, "How are you, Anri?"

Anri looked up with the visage of someone who hadn't been paying attention at all, "Ah..? Uhm.."

"Ah.." Mikado broke off that conversation before it amounted in yet another long and agonizing circle of trying to find the proper words, "So.. what do you think we're doing in class, today?"

"Eh, filler, probably."

"F-" The bell rang, sounding off several defeats, one lost bet, and a race. Kida grabbed Mikado and Anri; a wrist in each hand, and took off down the designated first-year hall, "Come on, we'll be late!"

* * *

**First period: Upperclassman Bi****ology**

* * *

"Now can anyone tell me what the powerhouse of the cell, is? I'm looking for raised hands. Izaya, put your hand down."

Ruri absentmindedly tapped at her chin with the raw edge of her pencil, dutifully scraping away at the apparent graffiti lining her desk. She wasn't sure who thought it'd be a good idea to draw..unmentionables all over her desk, but she did know that the act only fed into her homicidal aggression. After a while, she began scribbling severed heads across her notes.

The Hachimens sat in the back, tossing papers at one another.

"I swear to God if I have to learn about the Mitochondria again this year.." he cursed under his breath, launching a balled-up weapon at his elder's face. "Ten points for the eye.." he muttered.

The elder, in response, crushed the piece as it bounced off of his cornea, "After this class is over, I'm going to show you what your respiratory system looks like when it's spread across the pavement. Now shut it, Brat. And fu-"

"That's absolutely right, Roppi." The teacher allowed a small grin as he chalked the answer away on the board, "Now would anyone like to tell me-"

"Professor," Shinra raised his hand, "If this is a Biology class, why haven't we dissected anyone yet?"

"I volunteer Izaya!" multiple classmates chimed in.

The teacher held both hands out in a manor that was supposed to signify his desire for peace in this train-wreck of a classroom, "As you know, our budget has.. in short, gone to hell this year, so gathering the funds and legal documents necessary in order to perform a safe and _legal_ dissection in this classroom is.. well.. Let's just say.. No chance in hell."

Multiple students groaned. Particularly Shinra and those who'd desired to see Izaya dissected.

This time Vorona interrupted, with a raised hand, "Sensei, if a willing participant is what you desire, I will make it my utmost duty to retrieve such a subject. I have ways of efficiently neutralizing my targets-"

"Thank you, Vorona, but..No."

"Yes, professor."

"No, Vorona."

"Professor, yes."

"Vorona.. No."

"Professor.._Yes._"

"Vorona. No." Shizuo laced a hand around Vorona's wrist and swayed her back down into her seat.

The professor in question stared at the exotic faces of his students, briefly wondering what was going to become of the next generation of Japan. Then, briefly wondered if he'd be persecuted for the mass-production of monsters. On the other hand, science without a bit of ingenues wasn't really science. He turned around and started chalking a rough outline of a Eukaryota cell on the board.

"Someone, please come up here and label the mitochondria."

The teen shoved his head into his desk and groaned tiredly. 'Old man' Roppi chucked a wad at the defenseless brat, only to have it miss completely and hit Kasuka. Kasuka, caught off guard, rubbed the side of his head where the offender had struck and slowly processed what had just happened. He picked up the paper, unfolded it as if it carried some sort of note and looked back in the direction of which it was thrown, spotting a laughing Roppi.

He assumed that was his paper. He probably wanted it back then; with angelic intent, he tossed it back. It hit him in his other eye.

The victim gripped the sides of his desk as he eyed the perpetrator with a venomous glare, whom either didn't notice or simply didn't care. Their eyes met for a moment, and Roppi quietly prayed that a meteor would strike the classroom and hit _his _seat specifically.

* * *

On the bright side, brunch approached quickly. Unfortunately it seemed that the unsightly group of Shizuo, Tom, Vorona had merged with their table, which was usually reserved to the Hachimens. It was an unspoken rule.

It was bad enough that they already had to share a table with the damned emotionless one. Roppi kept staring at Kasuka and on occasion, kicked him under the table. Whether or not he didn't care or simply didn't notice remained a mystery, however, and he was forced to quit this action as one of the three-stooges approached.

"Die, die..die..die..die..." he muttered, and the teen seemed to be more or less doing the same thing. However, his daggers were more-or-less directed at the elder.

Vorona dropped her tray on the table, sat by Kasuka and eyed the two suspiciously, "You idiots caused a disturbance in class today. Who instilled your values? I'd like to meet this unapologetic person."

Roppi sat up and gripped the underside of the table, "If you're implying that the brat and I are human enough to have parents and or allow someone to 'instill our values', you've got another thing coming. Not to mention one hell of a shorter lifespan. And if you believe the brat and I are even genetically close enough to being related, I swear I will reach across this table and-"

Kasuka took it upon himself to take this moment to politely kick Roppi in the shin, setting off a reflex, sequentially causing the AI to bang his knee against the underside of the metal table. He cursed, yelled, clawed at the table and cursed again before his murderous eyes settled on Kasuka. The teen elbowed him and, spoon in hand, gestured towards the approaching duo of Tom and Shizuo.

Though it seemed to take every ounce of strength in his body, Roppi calmed down- if only slightly- (or at least mustered up a calm facade) enough to will away the attention of either the neanderthal or the dread-locked human that sat down on either side of the table. The neanderthal took his place next to Shizuo. Tom sat next to teen, however, a respectable distance away.

"Is that Simon in the kitchen?" Vorona leaned on her elbows and eyed that part of the cafeteria, sectioned off as the kitchen.

"Impossible.." Shizuo muttered, taking a bite of his bagel, "Simon was a student in the last episod-Agh..! Vorona.."

"Shizuo." she, whom had removed the bagel from his grasp, chided in a low voice, "Do not break the fourth wall."

Whatever the hell that meant. He finished off his (now retrieved) bagel and downed his milk.

Somewhere along the way, the brat and the old-man had begun an elbowing war, only broken up when the bell rang and Shizuo, at the silent request of Kasuka, pulled them apart in order to prevent their being late for history on account of fighting. Again.

* * *

**Underclassman Hall **

* * *

Mikado, whom was on his way to his next class, was also hopelessly lost. He wasn't sure when the halls had become so complicated. All he knew was this: Everything looked the same, he was lost, he was screwed, he was late, and-

He bumped into someone who growled upon impact. The suddenness of it all, or perhaps it was just a punch that he hadn't felt nor seen coming, sent him flat on his back. He rose to his feet, stumbled and bowed in apology. Head raised in order to assess the situation, as well as whomever he'd 'wronged' (if that could be considered such), he found himself staring into blood-red eyes.

Worst case scenario: Izaya Orihara. For a second, his stiffness showed, but he quickly relaxed because that was not at all whom he'd bumped into. Unfortunately.. he'd bumped into someone who was.. not at all better. "A-Ah.. Forgive me, R..Roppi.."

Roppi, noting the stiffness in the other's posture, allowed himself a faint smirk, "Is that how you speak to your upperclassmen?" He folded his arms and shook his head, as though disappointed. "That's what our generation is shaping up to be? That's a damn shame."

"Forgive me..!" His voice heightened, having not intended to offend the elder. "Forgive me.. Hachimenroppi.. senpai..?"

"Tch." He scowled, "Don't refer to me so casually. We hardly know each other. What's wrong with you?"

"I, ah..." He fumbled with his words and thought for a moment that his feet would follow suit. "F..Forgi-"

"-Save it. Don't you think I've heard enough of that in one minute? Shall I add '_redundancy'_ to your list of human flaws, Ryuugamine?"

Mortified, terrified, anxious and somewhat intimidated, he stepped back a bit. Though he wasn't particularly afraid of Roppi, he'd heard nothing but bad news about this guy. He was just all around bad news and as much as he hated paying his respects to this loathsome guy, he'd have to at least pretend to make a good impression if he wanted to cover the basics.

First, he coughed as he retained the evenness of his breath, "Wh.. Where am I..?"

Roppi, bearing a frown, flicked his sleeves around, "I don't know. Why don't you ask yourself? You walked here on your own two feet, right?"

"I.. ah.." He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "I wasn't paying attention.."

He raised his voice slightly, "So..! That's why you so rudely bumped into me, right? Because you weren't paying attention? Is that how you're going to represent your humanity?" He shrugged, "It's not like I didn't already think of you as 'mindless' in the first place.

_"You didn't even know me..!", _he told himself not to say. _"Why am I so nervous..? What is with this guy..! Also, how did I get here..? This better not be another plot device..!" _

Roppi, whom had apparently decided to provide the underclassman with a real answer, stated with no trace of amusement accompanied by a rather bored expression, "Upperclassman hall, buddy. So I suggest you turn tail and run with what's left of your dignity before the _real _monsters come out. Wouldn't want to upset the remainder of the most powerful class in school, right? Especially with your rude behavior."

His breath was faltering, at a perfect loss for words. What was he even supposed to say to that..? Apologize immediately, over and over again, (despite the former's warning for redundancy) about stumbling into the wrong hall? He couldn't help that when everything looked the same. "I...!"

Kida whipped his arm around Mikado's neck, "Mikado..! Hey buddy, save the flirting for _after_ class, would 'ya?"

Mikado instantly turned pale, and humbly requested that God struck him where he stood.

Roppi, clenching both fists tightly beneath the seams of his sleeves, uttered in a low tone, "What was that, underclassman?"

The blond underclassman frowned slightly, staring at the.. dude..? "Sorry, Mikado. Didn't know this one was exclusive. But hey, no worries..~ I'll take Anri off your hands, for y-Owowow..!" He yelped when Mikado kicked him into the lockers, "That hurt..!"

Roppi was standing there paying no mind to the idiocy, gritting his teeth as he muttered obscenities over and over again with a death-stare locked on the floor, that could have burned a hole into it, should the laws of physics allow it.

* * *

(Actual) **Underclassman Hall**

* * *

**teen!Roppi's Conflict: **_I am lost and late, probably. _

* * *

Every hallway looked the same. "What the hell.." he muttered, looking from side to side every minute. He'd known he should have dragged Kasuka along with him.. "Damnit.."

He stopped to squint at a clock on the far corner of the wall, just above the lockers, when something hit him.

Quite literally. He looked down at the questionably apologetic face of a young girl, "Watch it.." he mumbled.

"Sorry.." She looked away and clutched her books tightly to her over-sized chest, "I, ah.."

"...Lost?" he inquired, surveying the halls again.

"Ah..N..No.. I didn't see you there.." she bowed.

He frowned, briefly wondering if he should play off of that sort of disrespect, just to intimidate her. But then he figured.. He shouldn't stoop to the old man's level. "..Do you know which hall this is?"

She nodded, but kept her gaze on the ground. "Underclassman hall.. A.. ah, floor below yours.. I believe.."

"..You know who I am?" His expression remained blank. He was neither amused nor dissatisfied.

She stiffened. What she did know was based on mere conjecture and rumor. Not to mention the rumors that she'd heard so far were each compiled of a list of extraordinary fights between he and his double. Once with a knife, once with a gun, once with bloody knuckles and another with a turnip. "..No, sorry. I just assumed..!"

He mumbled something about disrespectful underclassman, just to prod at her obvious anxiety. He dismissed her, but wound up following her when he realized that she knew more about the way to go than he did.

* * *

"Call me his girlfriend again and I swear, I'll rip your sorry excuse of a - _[CENSORED] _off and_ [CENSORED] _it _[CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]_, you little.."

Mikado watched in horror at the scene unfolding between the two. Somewhere in his blinded rage, Roppi had seized Kida by the throat and slammed him up against the lockers, "Take it back!"

Kida, dense enough to misunderstand the situation entirely, threw his hands up, "Alright..! I didn't know you were so.. y'know, _not _into him." and flashed a characteristic grin, "But if _I'm _your type, who am I to-Yeeow..!" he howled when a thick fist jabbed into his rib cage, "Hey so I don't really know where my spleen is and all but I'm pretty sure you.." cough cough wheeze, "..punctured it."

Mikado waved his arms frantically at the scene as he desperately tried to grasp some sort of hold on the situation. If a resolution wasn't found soon, blood would stain these halls (so, not really an uncommon thing, but..) again and he wasn't sure if it'd be Roppi's or Masaomi's. "G..Guys..! Maybe we shouldn't do this here..!?"

"Shut your mouth!" Roppi demanded, slamming Kida up against the locker again. "I'll kill you..!"

At that moment, the teen approached with Anri in tow, who'd decided to come along despite already having gone their separate ways (for about an instant before they each recognized noises coming from their.. mutual acquaintances). And stopped to investigate.

The teen, whom had approached at (more or less) the perfect angle, did not see Roppi at the beginning stages of a fight with an underclassman. What Roppi saw was the back of his elder turned, and his hands grappled around some part of the underclassman (whichever part was holding him upright, he supposed), and the underclassman pinned up against the wall, with little to no audible words exchanged. What was evident, however, was the flushed face of the standby underclassman obviously waiting patiently for his friend (or, trying to break up the whole ordeal) and Roppi's very, very unnaturally stiff muscles.

"..Can't you even get a room? Old pervert."

Roppi turned around and socked the brat straight in the face, whom retorted by tackling the elder straight to the ground. Upon their descent, they knocked over Mikado, who fell into Anri, landing in a position that was rather.. Well it was enough to make Kida stand there like an idiot, cheering and whistling. The bell tolled, tolling utter defeat and the beginning of yet another fight between the Hachimens.

* * *

**Ruri's Conflict: **_I don't understand these people.._

* * *

Ruri, the first to descend from her AP English class (located on the upperclassman floor, cornering the hall where the fight just-so-happened to take place,) stumbled upon a.. well.. a circus.

What Ruri saw: Two underclassman engaging in unspeakable activity on the floor of the hallway, a bystander, and two noisy morons (whom weren't hard to recognize) roughing it out in the halls again.

She clenched her fists. Every day with these two..! She wanted to lash out. To say something that'd stop this nonsense, but she couldn't quite find the right words.

The bystander tapped her shoulder, "Hey, is it true that you kill people?"

Passive aggression flashed in her lovely eyes. She cocked her head, "Did you want to make it true..?"

Vorona, Shizuo, Tom and Kasuka approached. Vorona led the pack with his chest raised and her chin pointed in frustration, "I heard you two from the classroom..!"

Surprisingly, Shizuo seemed the least worried about this, simply flicking his cigarette. Might have something to do with the fact that he lingered in the back with Kasuka, where Tom had strategically placed him.

Tom and Vorona were the first to intervene. Tom pushed his glasses up in annoyance, "Tweedle dee and tweedle stupid; Would 'ya knock it off? Jeez.. enough is enough already..!"

Roppi was currently slamming (or at least, trying to) the younger's head into the lockers, while the younger resisted and seized the throat. "Die already..!"

Tom sighed and looked at Vorona, gesturing towards the two with his thumb. Basically, giving her the green-light.

She approached the two and, in a raised voice, stated, "Enough is enough..!" whilst gripping the two by the collars of their shirt and slamming their heads together, efficiently knocking either AI out cold.

Dropping them, she wiped her hands together, signifying a done job. "Have I completed my assignment?"

"You have." Tom gently pat her shoulder, "But.. should we.. do something about this..?"

He regarded the two bodies, unevenly sprawled out, each laying against one another's shoulder in a position that would have seemed both painful and somewhat sweet had they been anyone else.

"Hm." Shizuo stared at the two, hardly amused. He regarded Kasuka, "What do you think?"

Kasuka stared at the two, nothing giving away what might have been going through his head right now. "..They look peaceful." he noted.

"..You heard him." Shizuo took the shoulder of Tom and Vorona, "Let's not disturb 'em. A nap might be exactly what they need."

Vorona and Tom exchanged looks of contentment, then decided that lunch was of utmost importance.

They headed off to the cafeteria with the promise of food and for once, a quiet and non-threatening atmosphere (with the exclusion of the off-chance of Izaya getting involved, or Ruri having a break down, or...)

Well it was relatively normal and that was fine with them.


	4. Believe Not, Believe Much

**School-wise Conflict: I really don't want to be here right now..! **

* * *

The bell tolled and by then, most of the students in first-period Biology had already taken their seats, aside from the few who were still chatting away atop or aside their desks. Shinra lay defeated, as most students would whom were forced to attend class on Christmas Eve, with his head tucked in his arms. Celty sat to his right, not to be bothered with any of it.

Vorona, likely trying to make the most of a bad situation, sat by Shizuo rattling off some facts about sweets and Christmas and what-not. Ruri listened quietly. Shizuo wasn't really listening.

Izaya was rigging an ornament hook above the teachers desk. "Y'see, due to the law of equivalent force and reaction, this little baby is gonna come down at just the right moment depending on how hard I decide to pull the string." He tugged on the string experimentally, "And then it's a game of chance. If I'm lucky, I'll pull hard enough and it'll get teach' right in the eye. If not, then.." He shrugged, "It should only scare him."

Shinra swung up in a manor similar to that of a resurrected zombie, "Damnit..! This is so stupid..! Why the hell do we have to come to school on Christmas Eve..? I could have been home with Celty by now..!"

"Shut it..!" A greater majority of the class yelled in Shinra's direction, whom flinched at the sound of Shizuo's voice among the mix.

Vorona pressed her fists to her hips and stood by Shinra, leaning over slightly. "We are all aware of the unfortunate circumstances, Shinra. There is no need to make them worse. As students and soldiers, we will have no choice but to do our best and see the positive side of the situation."

"Dumb optimist.." Roppi muttered, sitting in the back by the snoozing brat, catching her attention.

She slammed her hands down on his desk, "If you would like to talk about unfortunate situations, we may. Did you know that I was lectured by the headmaster in response to the disturbance you two caused the other day?"

"Tch." He sneered and turned his head, "As if I cared about your stupid problems. Anyways, it's your own fault. You should have thought about that before bashing our heads together."

The brat mumbled in his sleep, "No, Kasuka.. I want.. kitty.."

Kasuka turned his head at the mention of his name, as did five or six different bystanders. When the attention was directed back to Roppi, he sent a threatening glare in Vorona's direction. "Anyway, what do you want? Did you come to start a fight or something?"

She straightened her back as though breathing heavily might lessen the desire to hit him. However, as she raised a murderous fist, the teacher opened the door. Consequently knocking Izaya right out of the chair he'd been standing in, in order to rig his 'perfect' trap. However, he was (unfortunately) quick enough to evade the fall and hop on the desk with both fists proudly glued to his side.

The teacher looked up at the nuisance, and briefly seemed to ponder whether or not he should question the situation. Deciding he was better off _not_ doing that, he slammed a textbook down on the table. "..Izaya Orihara, I know it's Christmas Eve and this situation is rather unfortunate for all of us, but if I catch you trying to hanging another death trap over my head, I will have to report you."

He shrugged it off and jumped off the teacher's desk, right onto Celty's. Typing away at her phone in outrage, he'd already hopped onto Shinra's by the time she was able to hold the potential death threat up. Shinra remained glum and grieving throughout the ordeal. The only (awake) Hachimenroppi in the room tried to launch a paper wad at him. Finally, he propelled off of Shizuo's seething head in order to make his grand entrance (or.. exit?) back to his seat.

Shizuo stood up, yelled and picked his desk up. In a feeble attempt to remedy the situation (in a snake-like manor), Izaya purposefully scoot his desk right next to Kasuka's, enough to attract his attention but apparently not enough to evoke a verbal reaction. Kasuka merely stared at Shizuo with a blank expression that seemed to still his movements. For a moment, the desk hung in the air, until the enraged but somewhat self-aware student slowly lowered it to the ground.

One of the students who weren't nearly important enough to have any affiliation with the main cast but seemed to be affiliated with this classroom regardless, jumped out of his seat and raised his hand as he called for the teacher's attention. "Teach..! Ruri is drawing weird stuff on her notes again..!"

Looking over, Vorona noticed what appeared to be the silhouette of a darkened figure scrawled among a blood-red background with hardly identifiable.. body parts, scattered among the floor. She frowned, "Ruri, you never told us that you were a good artist."

Ruri, somewhat flustered by the compliment, hung her head low. Vorona gave her a supportive pat and Shizuo curiously leaned over to inspect the art. She shied away immediately with stiff muscles.

The student remained standing, looking with obvious disbelief at the students who seemed not to care at all for the rather disturbing image hanging on the spot where notes should have been. "Why is nothing being done about this..!"

The teacher glanced over at the paper, but seemed a bit more interested with the magazine in his hand. He straightened his glasses, "Eh..? Let the girl express herself, Tokusa."

"Toku..? I have a name..?"

Shinra shrugged, "We'll probably never see him again after this episo-ow..!"

Prodding Vorona to remind him with a scowl and a vicious elbow to the stomach, "Do not break the fourth wall..!"

The teacher sat the magazine down, "Well I suppose it's time to start class. Now, can anyone tell me what the powerhouse of the cell is?"

In his sleep, Rop muttered, "Eh.. Mitochondria.. Kill me.."

* * *

When Brunch approached, most was silent at the table. Until Erika approached, bearing a tray and a smile, with the common pack of Kyohei, Saburo, and Walker. "Hey..! How are you all? Merry Christmas Eve, everyone."

"It'd be a Merry Christmas if we could all go home." Shizuo muttered, taking a bite of his mystery meat.

Vorona nudged him gently, "Shizuo, it is best to stay positive in unfortunate situations."

He ignored her and ate away. Meanwhile Erika watched the exchange with starry, distant eyes. Returning from her daydream, she squealed happily to herself. "You know what would make this Christmas great? Some holiday cheer and..!"

Walker and Kyohei covered her mouth as Saburo stared in horror. They seemed to be inside her head, which was frightening on every level. "..!"

"Erika, don't say something like that.. Get that out of your head right now!" Walker warned.

Kyohei raised his agitated voice, "Can't you knock it off with that crap for one day..!"

She seemed far too lost in her daydream by now, leaving the crew to promptly drag her away and place her at the table where she remained dizzy and light-headed throughout the remainder of Brunch.

The confused group left to sit and process what had happened, stopped when the teen's eyes suddenly snapped open. He gripped the table, "No, Kasuka..! Don't let Roppi kill y-"

Roppi covered his mouth and kicked him under the table, seeming to know exactly where _his _mind was headed.

Shizuo's ears perked for a moment, as did Kasuka's, but they merely exchanged silent looks before returning to their respective meals. All was quiet, except teen was suffocating. No one paid very much notice to that.

* * *

"What do you want for Christmas, Ruri?" Vorona asked that evening in the library.

Ruri thought for a moment, frowning slightly. "..I haven't thought about it."

Vorona shrugged, "I suppose I haven't either. Though I've been leaning towards something like.. the strength to vanquish my enemies. Something along those lines, I suppose. Or perhaps a Yo-yo.."

The particularly homicidal young lady shut the book her hands and pressed it close to her chest. She really hadn't given any thought to what she wanted this year, given no ever really asked. Now that she thought about.. something warm swelled up inside of her. It was a feeling that was.. unlike any other..

She frowned. Nope, still homicide.

Vorona looked up, "Forgive my absence of mind, but did you say something?"

She shook her head and propped her book open on the table, muttering something about Hannibal Lecter.

* * *

**Lunch**

* * *

Teen sat there with his head down, cradling his head in his arms. The elder sat across from him, kicking his legs in an attempt to either wake him up or instigate a fight. Vorona sat by Kasuka today, in between he and the abusive elder.

"Kasuka." She caught his attention, "What do you want for Christmas?"

Shizuo looked up, clearly interested. Kasuka eyed Vorona for a moment, thinking.

"..I haven't thought about it."

Shizuo stiffened. That wasn't helpful in the slightest.

"..On second thought, I was thinking about investing in a new toy. For Yuigadokusonmaru."

"Yuigadokusonmaru..?" she muttered under her breath. If she were correct, that roughly translated to..

'holier-than-thou'.

"Weirdo." Roppi muttered, glancing cautiously at Shizuo, who didn't seem to hear him.

"Though, I don't know what Yuiga might like.." He glanced at the teen, "Would you like to see him, for Christmas..? He enjoys your company.."

The teen's eyes were shining by now, though he didn't seem to know it. He coughed, "I..Is that really alright?"

Old-man Roppi raised his eyebrow, "So you're a cat-lover now?"

_Shut up. _The teen's eyes clearly said the words that he decided not to say in favor of the Christmas Spirit. Or simply not having his head knocked around again, "...Is that a problem?"

Shizuo got up and tugged Vorona along with him, having a few 'private words to say.

* * *

**Shizuo's Conflict: **_I've got no idea what Kasuka wants for Christmas and I don't think he's having that problem. _

(By the looks of what was under the tree, at least).

* * *

Meanwhile, the rest (aside from Tom, who decided to skip out on school that day) remained at the table.

"..Freak." Roppi muttered.

"Old man." the brat retorted.

Kasuka sat quietly for a while, "..Do you two want anything for Christmas?"

The elder scoffed and disregarded the question, "Why the hell would I want a gift from a human?"

The teen shrugged, clearly having not thought about it. It seemed most people did not think about it. He grabbed the packet of ketchup and allowed his fingers to wrestle with it as he tried to pop it open. It did not comply.

Roppi eyed the human menacingly, "Also, don't even think about getting me anything because I'll throw it away."

He nodded, though he didn't seem to care much.

"And also, if I find out that you've bought the brat something corrupt or.. _human, _"I swear I will come after you."

Kasuka nodded again, "..I don't know what you might like. I haven't thought about it."

"Tch." He scoffed, "Hard to believe that you think at all."

Struck with an idea, the teen kicked the elder under the table. Whom, in response, kicked him right back.

"Kasuka..!" He feigned pain, "You should kick Roppi. He'll just blame me."

Outraged, the gullible old-man grabbed the human by the collar and gripped it tightly. Kasuka.. still didn't seem to care.

The brat, ketchup packet in hand, pressed it against Kasuka's chest and smashed. He quickly discarded the wrapper.

Roppi loosened his hold on the human and examined what appeared to be.. ketchup..? staining his clothes. "What the hell.." Just for fun, the brat dabbed his fingers into the mess and wiped some on the side of his lip just to add to the affect. He sat down innocently, and the elder still couldn't fathom what had just happened.

Until a shadowy figure hovered over him. First in the shape of a man, and then in the shape of a table.

He looked up at the enraged neanderthal, who said nothing. "..Tch-"

* * *

**Detention**

* * *

"This is all your stupid fault.." Shizuo growled in the direction of the two who sat in the back, battered and bruised. Kasuka sat by Shizuo, per precautions in case of another outburst.

"Your fault for being so gullible.." The brat muttered, rubbing his bruised skull.

The elder's state of being: Pain. Anger. Ouch. Stupid. Brat.

Izaya sat on the teacher's desk. It was a given that he'd end up here. "It's your own fault, you stupid brute, for being _so _not in the Christmas spirit..! I mean, I know you're dense but did you really think your little brother would appreciate detention for Christmas?"

Before Shizuo could launch another table at him, Kasuka tugged on his sleeve. "What do you think Yuiga would like for Christmas..?"

He sat back down and held his breath. "...Don't know."

The elder knocked the brat right out of his chair, whom tipped it over in response. Izaya uttered another mocking chuckle, and the room was in utter immediate chaos.

Roppi pulled Roppi's hair, who kicked, scratched and punched him in response. One pinned the other down and then vice-versa. Erika, summoned by the commotion, cheered and whistled at Shizuo, Izaya, Roppi and Roppi. Tables were thrown, desks were broken, chairs were broken over someone's head and Erika was hastily dragged out of the room. Again.

Kasuka looked up when the sound of jingle bells rang through the quaint little hell. He neared the mirror, careful to avoid the cross-fire. Looking up, he squinted slightly at what appeared to be.. an odd, unidentified vehicular structure flying through the air. For a moment, he thought, '_Shizuo..'_ before realizing Shizuo was in the room with him and surely the.. thing would have crashed by now if it had been thrown with Shizuo's strength and velocity.

"A sleigh.." he muttered, then quietly called for the room's attention, "There is a sleigh above us."

"Senpai..!" Vorona burst through the door, armed with a sniper-rifle. "I will remove the intruder at your request."

As she moved to kneel by the door, multiple students (who piled into the room) grabbed at her shoulders and restrained her.

Shinra took the gun, "Vorona, you're not supposed to borrow the headmaster's stuff without his permission."

She pointed at the sleigh in outrage, "The man is at least 200lbs, defying gravity and I assume his vehicle was conjured with Russian technology. We haven't been the same since the Space Race, you see, and-"

Shizuo pressed a hand to her shoulder, "Don't shoot the man, Vorona."

The worn out trouble-makers (excluding Izaya, who was staring out the window with minimal amusement) leaned against one another (not quite by choice) as they tried to remain standing. They looked out the window, at each other, and the other students in silent disbelief and for a moment, decided not to kill each other.

"Ho Ho Ho..!" Santa shouted, and from his sleigh, he dropped tens and twenty and thirties of presents.

"He's dropping bombs..!"

"Vorona, stop it."

Watching in astonishment, Shinra cheered and reached for Celty, whom immediately rejected his affections with a thick text-book. The sound of jingle-bells heightening and disappearing with the visage of the sleigh caused an uproar among the students. However, rather than what would have been very-well expected of this lovely little school (a mosh pit), the students rejoiced. Even the underclassman.

"Apprehend the gifts, below!" Vorona shouted, leading the pack outside, in a frenzy.

Opening, exchanging, gifting, unwrapping, tearing and sharing, the students gave and received to and from one another. It was an amazing, cheerful, holiday-like event that didn't feature black eyes or bruises. And it was very strange and foreign to them, but it was fun.

Vorona received a new ribbon, which she almost immediately tied around her neck. It appeared to be a gift from Tom, whom, despite being absent, received a brand new suit and tie. Izaya received a box of coal, until someone presented him with another gift. Begrudgingly, Namie (an associate of his) dropped a small box on his foot and left to find her Seiji, of which she was sure she'd found the best gift of all (a framed picture of the two). Namie's gift contained a switchblade.

Erika: Yaoi manga.

Saburo: Paint and polish (for the van that he seemed to love so much).

Kyohei: A note: "Patience." with a note attached, "J.K. Enjoy your new hat."

Walker: Not-Yaoi manga.

Roppi: A scarf addressed to Tsuki. Though it didn't make much sense, he seemed contented with receiving Tsukishima's gift. Though he definitely did not smile.

teen!Roppi: A first-aid kit. Something he didn't want but apparently needed. (And also an invitation to care for Yuiga for a day or two).

Ruri: New ribbons.

And finally..

Shizuo searched for Kasuka throughout the mess, holding a gift addressed to him. He figured if he didn't know what he wanted, Santa might. When he found him, Kasuka was kneeling over a gift that looked a bit battered from the fall, but appeared to be.. good. He picked it up and turned towards Shizuo, seeming to have the same idea.

Kasuka approached, "..This one is addressed to the two of us."

He nodded, "This one is yours, I guess.." and handed it to him, eyeing the ground through his glasses. "Hey, it's kinda light.. You should open it."

Kasuka complied and gave the duo-addressed gift to Shizuo, who held it for him. He carefully tore through the wrapper and pulled the lid of the box off. "..Thank you." He fished inside and pulled out a cat collar. Perfectly sized for Yuiga. And below that, a necklace. It was fairly simple, but it was.. nice.

He slipped the gifts in his pocket and gestured towards the remaining gift, "..You should open it."

With a silent gulp, he nodded. He'd originally figured it was mis-addressed and was Kasuka's present, but..

Opening it, there were two, chilled, milk bottles sitting complacently on a single, long, scarf. Kasuka pulled the bottle out, took a few sips and held onto it, clearly appreciative. Shizuo did the same thing, until a scarf was loosely draped over his shoulders. "...?" He examined the scarf, and Kasuka's intentions.

"You should have it." he stated simply, "I don't need another gift."

He laughed because Kasuka was strange and confusing, but figured that was as good as an answer as anything. And so totally Kasuka. He ruffled his hair and from that day on, they all lived happily ever after.

Well that's a little bit bullshit, but at least they got to go home early and Vorona promised not to shoot Santa out of the sky that night.


	5. Think Fast, Listen Not

**Teacher's Conflict: **_I can't control this class. _

_... ..I really can't control this class._

* * *

The day started off as it always did. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary in the sense that nobody, absolutely nobody (aside from Shinra but he's an all-around weirdo) wanted to be here, and Shizuo and Izaya had already tried to kill each other once that day.

Seemed like a pretty fluent routine, but things always had a way of managing to take the most expected unexpectedly unexpected turns.

The bell rang, tolling the eminent defeat of unlucky students whom had thought to wait ten minutes before the first period of the day to rush to get their homework done. And with it, the groans and moans of those who severely regretted ever getting out of bed this morning.

The Upperclassman halls were cluttered and among the crowd, Shizuo and Izaya were nudging each other into one another- into other students- and into the locker on occasion (evident by the Izaya-shaped indent, given Shizuo's impossible nature of strength).

Vorona, Tom, Kasuka, Ruri and the like followed close behind them. Each piled into the class with a vacant expression, enough so that for a moment, the teacher thought that maybe they were trying to understand Kasuka better..? But that was a silly notion and surely wasn't the case. As usual, Kasuka took his seat in the back near the window - where all of the studious anime characters usually sat, but that's more of an underclassman thing.

When the zombies-err, students- were in their assigned seats, the teacher decided to take role.

"Vorona.. Shizuo.. Shinra.. Celty.." he began to rattle off names in a tone that implied he was just as dead in spirit as they were. "Oi, has anyone seen Izaya?"

Shinra raised his hand, "Shizuo may have killed him, sir."

Shizuo normally would have taken offense, but the notion was doable in his mind so he merely sat there with a slight slump and crossed arms, "Hmph. Nope, the rat slipped away. Good riddance."

"Ah.. I'll just mark him as absent." the teacher decided. As his pen grazed the attendance sheet, the door swung open. Izaya dragged a box in with him.

"Ammunition, not a place for school." Vorona arose to inspect the boxes from afar, recognizing the label of her father's company. However, he waved the accusation off and kicked it over-

Out spilled a various array of... well, they appeared to be decorative (and familiar) little rods, aligned with all sorts of colors and switches. "What have you done now, Izaya?" the teacher groaned.

"Hey, does anyone know where that one kid from the last episode was? Hiro-something?"

"Let it go, Shinra." Shizuo grumbled.

"...What are those?" Ruri asked eventually. Contaminated with curiosity, the class had all but forgotten their seats (as well as the matter of role call) and huddled around the box to inspect the strange contents.

Izaya, seeming far too proud of himself, set a foot on the empty box and took one of the strange rods in his hand. "These.." he said as he flipped with the switch, prompting a colored, plastic tube to erupt from the handle "are lightsabers. Pretty cool, right~?"

"...Izaya.." the teacher muttered, rubbing his aching head, "Why did you bring lightsabers to school?"

"They're pretty cool, right?" he repeated, then swung at Shizuo.

Growling, Shizuo gave him a short-tempered grimace and pulled a saber from the pile, lunging right back at him. And that was how two of the upperclassman began a lightsaber battle in the middle of class.

Following suit, Roppi took a lightsaber- colored red, not surprisingly- and attacked his younger self. He supposed it defeated the purpose to fight someone with the same colored saber, but knocked the thought aside as he aimed to land a blow on the younger punk who dodged in his stubborn sort of way of saying he wasn't going to be hit.

"Eh.. Hijiribe.. Is she here..?"

Ruri raised her hand, after blocking an incoming blow from Vorona. "Here, Sensei."

"Isn't that a little stereotypical?" Shinra muttered. Celty retorted by knocking his phone out of his hand with her saber. As he scrambled to retrieve it, she seized the ground (right by the phone) with the tip.

In other words, Celty meant business. Shinra gave her a sheepish grin, then attacked (and the battle was over in a matter of seconds; Celty was just too much for him).

Walker and Erika were having a blast. Kadota marveled and resented their ability to discuss 'important aeronautical astrophysics in relation to manga'.

"But.. I can.. feel it..!" Erika declared as she managed her own against Walker, with a strength that kept pushing him back despite digging his heals into the ground. "We are getting that much.. closer.. to Evangelion..! Science is progressing..!"

"Erika, that's not a good.. thing..!" he retorted as he stumbled slightly, "That ended horribly!"

"Stay in one place!" he snapped. "You wouldn't want to make something as simple as an attendance sheet harder on an old man like me, would you?"

The class stayed in one place, (with Izaya unceremoniously caught in mid-air after having been in the midst of evading a determined blow from Shizuo, who had long since ditched the lightsaber in favor of his fist) for about a minute, even as Izaya hit the ground. Shizuo teetered on the desk just above him, waiting diligently for the teacher to take a head-count.

"Erika.. Walker.. ...Tokusa-?"

Vorona, whom had frozen in the midst of a heated battle with Ruri (she was currently being straddled as Ruri held the saber high above her head, prepared for the finishing blow), glanced behind her as much as she were able to add, "Sensei. That character, irrelevant. Of your best interest to remove it from your roster."

"Let's see.." he muttered, conveniently ignoring that statement as plot advancement dictated that he should, "Shizuo.. Kasuka.. Ah, good, it seems that everyone's here." he set his clipboard down and stuck his pen back in his ear. "Great. Resume while I write out today's lesson."

"Die!" the teen insisted, persistently whacking at his older self with everything he had.

The elder seemed to be writing it off as mere child's play, hardly participating fairly as he blocked himself with his arms. By the rules of Star Wars, his limbs should have been severed by now. Clearly he wasn't being a good sport. "Shut the hell up before I give you a Colombian necktie!"

"No one is giving anyone a Colombian necktie." the teacher- or, sensei, muttered as he chalked the lesson down. "Now if you'd please-" he ducked an oncoming recycling bin. "-sit down."

His words were drowned out by the determined yell of Vorona, whom had finally managed to shake Ruri off of her. Ruri was still not nullified, however, and in her thirst for victory, she threw herself at Vorona all over again and managed to tip them over a desk.

Chikage decided to provide his input for the first- or perhaps the second- time in total within the span of five episodes. "Ne, beautiful woman mustn't degrade themselves with ruthless fighting. But if you're going to do so regardless of what I say, then may I suggest doing it with me in between you two-!"

Chikage just suffered a saber to the head, courtesy of Kyohei who spoke on behalf of anyone who'd actually been listening to that little.. suggestion. "Shut your mouth!"

Slon, whom stood in the doorway with a dumbfounded expression (or at least as dumbfounded of a look one could have with half their face covered in bandages), scratched his head in confusion. "Eh...I don't know what all these lightsabers are doing here, but how do these companies manage to get them to glow like that..! Ah, and that sound, too! I must know! I've got to! The curiosity will burn a hole into my heart until the answer is found..!"

Vorona, whom had no time to put up with Slon, stated simply "I hope for the erasure of your existence. You will be done away with, promptly after current target is annihilated."

Ruri seemed to take offense to that. "Target..?" she aimed for the throat, which Vorona evaded.

Izaya had run out of tables to tip over, and leverage to gain. Until he found himself on Kasuka's desk. Thinking quickly, he pulled a saber from the mess on the ground and held it to Kasuka's throat, who merely sat there with a book to read while the chaos ensued. "I have a hostage!" he threatened.

Shizuo's anger bubbled over and a table- the teacher's desk, actually- was lifted over his shoulders. "You..bastard...Leave 'him... Outta this!" he declared as he heaved the desk over his head.

Shinra had thankfully managed to open the window in time. "Spared 'ya another broken window, Sensei! And a broken student." Though he could not see where Izaya had wound up in all the commotion. And Kasuka flipped to the next page.

"..Is nobody gonna comment on the fact that he's reading 50 Shades of Grey?"

"It's best to leave it alone, Saburo." Kyohei muttered. Then delivered another sharp blow to Chikage's head, who retorted by gripping the edge of a desk and positioning himself so his legs were in the air- until they impacted Kyohei's stomach. "Agh-! Die already!"

The teacher sat there where his desk used to be, rubbing his head tiredly. He really wished Shizuo hadn't thrown that desk out the window- again. He'd kept aspirin in one of those drawers and that sounded useful. That, and the forty ounce he was saving for lunch.

His head ached. The only person that was remotely calm at the moment was Kasuka, and he was sitting in the back reading porn. "Class..." he mumbled, desperately seeking some sort of handle on the situation.

Naturally, nobody responded and Shizuo was staring out the window, convinced that he'd knocked the flea outside somehow. Probably landed out there with the desk, actually.

Just as the poor man was about to abandon all hope and head outside to dig around for his bottle of pills and relief, the door swung open and Simon popped in, accompanied by Dennis- the steak-knife wielding cafeteria lunchroom chef with a knack for Sushi.

"Fighting bad! Eat sushi!" he presented a tray of sushi.

Vorona, having been to enticed by the fight with her opponent to notice- delivered a swift kick to Ruri's head. Or at least, so she'd intended, just before Ruri had ducked behind the tray.

Sushi spread across the floor, (Shinra was fortunate enough to catch some in his mouth), and all was silent for a moment. So silent that if one concentrated just enough, the flustered voice of Mikado Ryuugamine could be heard all the way from the first-year floor. If Mikado wasn't flustered, he was flustered.

Ruri and Vorona shared a blank look, but don't be fooled. They were about as vulnerable as deer caught in someone's headlights. Or in this case, ingredients in Simon's kitchen.

Sabers were dropped, and everyone was frozen (some with hands wrapped around one another's throats).

All was still. And just for a moment, the classroom was... peaceful, aside from the lingering air of homicide.

And then Simon grabbed Vorona and Ruri- one under each arm, and held them tight even as they struggled. And the harder they struggled, the tighter he held them until they were uncomfortably gasping for air. As this took place, the stair he offered the rest of the class was.. nil. His eyes were shut and if they were opened, his gaze would have been fixated on the clock on the wall ahead, that nobody bothered to read anymore because analogue clocks were inconvenient in this new age of technology, so to speak.

When it seemed that Vorona and Ruri were running out of air, everyone- everyone (save for Chikage who needed to be restrained; he was ready to start a fight with Simon, mumbling some nonsense about hurting ladies and all that). As Kyohei convinced him that it was suicide, and threatened him with another sedative, the rest of the class hurried to rearrange the class back to it's original formation and tidy the room up. Even going so far as to send someone out to retrieve the discarded desk, and Izaya.

Vorona and Ruri appeared to be out of air as they hung limp in Simon's arms. As most of the class had resumed their seats quietly, Dennis stuck a knife in the wall (as a warning, if anyone had to take a guess) and made his descent down the hall. Simon politely stuck unconscious Vorona and unconscious Ruri in their allotted seats, left a tray of sushi on the teacher's desk as it was returned (with Izaya sprawled out lifelessly on top of it) and followed shortly afterwards with a plain but ominous "Fighting is bad." as he left.

When the class was resettled and three of the unconscious students were in their seats, the teacher felt that now was the appropriate time to resume class.

"...One.. two...three.."

"Counting how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop by any chance, sir?"

Sensei ignored Shinra's comment, "Only three knockouts this time. Ah, you're really trying to improve, aren't you? I'll give you credit. As a reward, I'll halve the amount of homework I've assigned you this weekend."

The class cheered. Or at least those who could be bothered to cheer, cheered. Then, reminded of the aura emanating from Dennis' discarded knife, they remained silent.

Another peaceful of moment of silence passed. Kasuka flipped another page of his book, before Shizuo calmly and politely urged him to put it away. He complied and placed the book into his backpack.

One more moment passed before the teacher scanned the room (which looked relatively normal now that the apparent mosh-pit had ceased and the lightsabers had been returned to the box. He clapped his hands together, just once, as the bell rang. That bell signified the forty-five minute mark, which meant that they had approximately one hour left to cover the material they'd meant to cover before this little epidemic.

"We can get started. At last!" he cheered, then turned around to face the board as he upheld the chalk. "Now then. Can anyone tell me about the powerhouse of the cell?"

The teen in the back let out a loud scream, promptly slamming his own head into the desk a few times.

"That's right..! Mitochondria.." he contentedly wrote the answer down in big, white letters on the board.

Meanwhile, Izaya began to stir awake towards the end of class. Seeing the room in such a state of peaceful obedience deluded him into momentarily believing that this had all been a dream. That is, until he spotted the cracked desks and opened window (below it lay some leftover wood-chips, likely remnants of the previously discarded desk, and a broken forty ounce).

"Good to see you've decided to join us, Izaya." he set the chalk down.

The last thing Izaya recalled was being tossed out of an open window by Shizuo.

He stood up, outraged. "Why the hell is it so quiet in here...!"

Immediately, hushed voices warned him to watch himself. "They've threatened us.." Shinra frowned.

"Oh? What could possibly have you bunch scared? That's interesting."

"With.." Erika kept her head down. It was too awful to recount at the moment.

Walker ripped the metaphorical band-aid off, "..They've threatened to cancel season two..!"

The room grew quiet again and realization flashed in Izaya's eyes. Slowly- he began to take his seat. He folded his hands in his lap, "...I see."

Rop decided to raise his head and scream. In his incoherence, he muttered something about a mitochondria. Sensei nodded to Roppi, who was plugging his ears at the sound of the foul noise. "If you wouldn't mind.."

The elder obliged and promptly incapacitated the teen by slamming his head into the desk with unnecessary force. "Pleasure's all mine."

He shook his head and returned to jotting something down on the board.

"That makes four in total. Well, you all tried. I'll give you that much."


End file.
